There are a couple of times when you face rough and dull days in a relationship. There may be fights, disagreements, disappointments and the blame game. It is not that one person is wrong and the other one is right. The fights between the couples are more or less because of the joint mistakes of both the partners. However, there are some rules and red flags that you must completely avoid in order to protect your relationship from hitting the rocks.
Things a Woman Must Not Tell Her man During a Fight
Here, in this article, we’ll mention about some of the things that you should never tell a man during a fight. The reason is simple, both men and women are equally agitated during a fight. However, when you say certain things in the heat of the moment you’re bound to worsen the things and this will conclusively aggravate the fight between you both. Read below, to know things that you must avoid saying to the men during a fight.
No-No Phrase: 1 – You always, you never or you’re wrong
When you say such things it is like playing a blame game. It is an absolute situation. This means that you are absolutely putting the blame on him without any consideration or defense. This will get your partner defensive and in a name calling mode. According to experts, you can never put the blame of what he did in the past to what just happened in the current fight. He might be wrong but never cross your limits during the heat of a moment. The better way of putting your point would be, ‘I just noticed that this happened again. Can we just discuss why this keeps happening over and over again?’ Starting with ‘I’ is a better way because you emphasize that you are upset but still ready to discuss and know the problem.
No-No Phrase: 2 – ‘If you really loved me . . . ‘
If you keep telling your partner that he has never loved you enough or doesn’t care for you enough you’ll end up being more dissatisfied. He’ll feel that all his efforts to date have been in vain. Something like, ‘If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have said no for this’, also comes across as a forceful way to make him do what you want to do. This dominance is generally not approved by most men. According to experts, rather than forcing him to do something in order to prove his love for you, you could rather say something like, ‘I would really appreciate it you don’t do this.’ This comes as a strong request and an appeal. Thus, he’ll definitely give a thought to it. However, when you be dominating and say something like that you instantly get him against you. In some cases, he would then willingly not do it just to prove that you couldn’t (shouldn’t) dominate him.
No-No Phrase: 3 – Why can’t you be like so and so?
Men hate being compared especially when it is to another man. There are 2 people you should never compare your boyfriend to – One, you ex, Two, your friend’s partner. You had a fair knowledge about both the positive and the negative traits of your partner before you two got into a relationship. Even then you went ahead to be with him. This fairly means that you didn’t have a problem with such traits then. Then why even crib about those traits now? According to experts, when you compare a man to another man you’re putting him down. If you really found everything so good about your ex then why didn’t the relationship with him work out? The better way of improving his bad habit would be saying something like, ‘Can you work on this habit of yours? It really bothers me sometimes.’
No-No Phrase: 4 – My mother (father/sister/friend/etc) warned me about this
Never, physically or verbally bring a third party in a fight between you and your partner. The fight is between you both and it is for you both to decide who is wrong and who is right. Only you can resolve the issues and the challenges that you’re facing. Moreover, if you really were so devoted to the advice given by a third party then you must have listened to him/her in the first place before going ahead with the relationship. There is also a fair chance that this will mar the relationship between your partner and that third person. According to experts, no third party must ever intervene in a relationship. The better way of putting this could be, ‘You know my mother is really appreciative of you. However, this particular habit of you is something that even she doesn’t like.’
No-No Phrase: 5 – That is it- we’re through
Women have a strange habit of breaking up over everything. This might have been said in a heat of the moment but if you keep going on and on about it during every fight your partner will feel that you’re not interested in the relationship and are regularly looking for ways to part ways. Sometimes, he too might get carried away with it and might just end up leaving with an ‘Okay!’ What are you going to do then? So, avoid saying such harsh and mean statements during a fight. According to experts, if a woman keeps saying, ‘we’re done or we’re through, or this is over’ during a fight men get extremely agitated at the fact that how you’re exaggerating a small fight into something so massive. Rather, choose to say something like, ‘We’ll talk tomorrow. I don’t want to discuss any further.’ This will prevent the fight from being stretched out of proportion.
No-No Phrase: 6 – Don’t come near me tonight
It is obvious that you have had a fight so there will be no lovemaking tonight. When you say it straight, it comes as a weapon to make then man do what you want him to do in order to get sex. Never mix feelings with a fight. Moreover, you should never come across as a woman who believes in punishing the men by depriving him for sex. This is indeed going to hurt him and make him actually walk out of the room. Experts say, when women say something like this during a fight it is often said in order to make the men apologize even if it was the mistake of the woman. This again is a sign of domination. He might agree once or twice but after he realizes it is your repetitive habit then chances are he’ll stop listening to you completely. Rather saying something like, ‘I am going to another room to sleep’ will be a better way. This is because it will show him that you’re visibly upset.
The Last Thoughts
A relationship is based on trust and respect for each other. There should be a strong foundation of these 2 layers amongst the two people. Without these, the relationship might wither away anytime. Thus, to keep going strong with your partner you must strictly avoid saying few things to your partner when you have already had a fight. This is because these things might worsen the things between you two. Above, we have listed some of these things that you must never say to a man during a fight. Do, follow the tips and avoid the fights between you from aggravating. Hopefully, our tips will help you at some point or the other.